if i focus on the light
Holding Light
I can be just as bright as i wanna be…
Sometimes i forget where my light is. sometimes i even forget that i am responsible for my own light. It isn’t anyone else’s responsibility. so i was looking through some pictures that kRi took of herself and i remembered to just focus on the light.
i recently went to a good friend where i got hypnotized for the first time. To be completely honest i was really afraid of going. Because i didn’t know what to expect. Ever since i was little, hypnosis was where you go to a magician’s show and you get called up to the main stage and the magician then makes you do very embarrassing things and the whole crowd laughs at you, OR you are in a little room, laying on a couch where the hypnotist swings a medallion in front of your head until you go into a headspace where the person hypnotizing you, then asks you all sorts of revealing questions that you would never admit to yourself outloud.
So now, you knowing all of the things i had assumed about hypnosis, you know i must have been a little anxious about experiencing it. At first there were a series of general questions that i didn’t mind answering vaguely. about what my life has been like lately, what my general relationships are like, how sleeping is for me nightly.
THEN he asks me to take a seat in the nearby leather chair…..
i could feel my anxiety starting to raise up in me but i remained outwardly schooled and calm….so i sat in the chair, leaned back with my feet up on the footrest and closed my eyes. as i sat in the chair i heard the faint soundtrack playing in the background. some drums and vocalization, a sitar perhaps
and he began speaking in a very soft voice to me. I was to imagine i was in the safest forest near a bubbling brook almost night time, the moon was coming out over the tree tops and the air was soft on my skin. Then he explained that the softest circle of light was coming toward me and as it neared me i became more comfortable and more calm than i had ever been before. And then the light got so close that it touched my forehead. when it touched my forehead, my forehead smoothed out without a worry in my brow. and the light moved down my whole body, one muscle and organ at a time my body became relaxed, more relaxed than i had ever known. At this point in this exercise i was very deep in my unconscious. i couldn’t move a finger, i just wanted to linger where i was in this beautiful forest of safety in my mind.
He then told me that there was a nearby staircase. 10 steps to walk down. and i was to take 10 steps down to another part of the forest where i would find as i walked down each step i would become more safe and calmer than i had ever been in my life. Taking the first step was the hardest part but once i did my unconscious mind drifted and all of the daily things i worried about were drifting from me as i walked down this staircase.
then finally i reached the bottom of the forest and laid under a tree….i was so peaceful. and i was surprised too.
it was then i heard his voice again. He began telling me a story about the birds and animals and plants in the forest. That they all are born with the innate knowledge of how to survive. Birds can fly 2000 miles from their nest and know exactly how to get back and how to take care of themselves. In the same way plants and other animals in the forest all know how to take care of themselves. He then explained that the human body, specifically my body, my mind, my spirit was made efficiently to take care of itself.
and it was like something really clicked inside of my brain. Hettie, you are safe.
i drifted there for a while in silence and was told when he counted to 5, i would come back to my awareness. when he counted to five i was back in the same body i came there in, but feeling very different inside.
hettie.
